Hinesights Podcast_EP 29_Ask Kev_MY 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEING ALIVE: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Kevin Hines:
My name is Kevin Hines. I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. I believe that I had to die, but I lived. Today, I travel the world with my lovely wife, Margaret, sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. Now, we help people be here tomorrow. Welcome to the HINESIGHTS podcast.
Kevin Hines:
What's cracking, Hope Nation? It's your friendly neighbor, Kevin Hines. And today is a very special day for me. And I wanted to share with you how I was feeling today on the 20th anniversary of my attempt off the Golden Gate Bridge to attempt to die by suicide, die by my hands from lethal emotional pain. I was in a place where I was filled with despair, anguish, aggressive and assertive, empowered pain, struggle, and strife. I believed I was useless. I believed I was worthless. I believed I had no value. I heard voices in my head telling me that I had to die and that I had no other option, that it was the only course to take. I was having hallucinations, auditory and visual, seeing and hearing things nobody else can see or hear. I believed I was the scum of the earth. And on September 25th of the year 2000, twenty years ago today, at 10 in the morning, I went out to the Golden Gate Bridge after sitting on a bus crying like a child, hoping, wishing, and praying that one person would see my pain, say something kind, reach out to me and say, hey, kid, are you OK? Brother, is something wrong? Or pal, can I help you? I would have told them everything and begged them to save me. But nobody said anything. Matter of fact, the only person to react aloud was a guy to my left who said to the fellow next to him while pointing at me with his thumb with a smile on his face, what the hell is wrong with that kid? Filled with nothing but apathy for me. And on that bus, I cried, waterfall tears flowing from my eyes, mucus dripping from my nose, hoping, wishing, and praying someone would see my pain, see me, and say something compassionate. My point is this, the next time you see someone in active emotional distress, don't be the onlooker that walks on by. Walk up to that person, stand in front of them, look them in the eyes and say, I've got your back. I don't know what you're going through, but human to human, I care. Now, I know that's hard to do given COVID times, but not impossible. We can reach out to the people we see in pain, even from six feet apart. On September 25, 2000 there were people that cared about me. There were people that love me dearly and would never want to see me do what I did that day. I was not alone, even though I felt alone surrounded by a sea of people who love me. But to be crystal clear, we hear this from a lot of people around the world, I feel so alone. And our initial reaction, our instinctual reaction is to say you're not alone, but that simply invalidates how they feel. Instead of saying you're not alone, the next person that expresses that to you, look them in the eye and say, I know what it's like to feel alone. I've been there and I've got your back. It's been a somewhat rocky and tumultuous 20 years to get to where I am today. I live with all the symptoms I ever had of bipolar disorder type one, with psychotic features. The skyrocketing, manic, euphoric natural highs and once you go up, you must come down and come crashing down to these dark abyss of depression and pain. But lately there are fewer and far in between. I'm working tirelessly for my better brain mind, behavioral mental health and wellbeing, and all around wellness. I created a tool kit called The Art of Wellness, a 10-step guide to better brain health. It's free. It's yours. Go to youtube.com/KevinHines, hit Subscribe, click that bell, go to the playlist The Art of Wellness and watch 10 videos, 12 videos, 10 Steps to better your brain health today. Common sense tools, science-based, evidence informed tools to better your mind. I care about you. I want you to be here tomorrow and every damn day after that, I want you to know that suicide never has to be the solution to your problem. It is, in fact, the problem. I believe in you and your ability to find hope at the end light and light at the end of the tunnel. You don't see that light, it's there. You ain't walked far enough to reach it. This life, I know, is the greatest gift we have ever been given or will ever be given, no matter the pain we're in. Listen, I know about pain. I know a great deal about pain. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. It's a choice. No matter what you've been through or what you've gone through, no matter what you're going through, you can defeat that pain. You've got the power within you to do so. I know you can. I did. I do. Every day. Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, whatever you're going through, whoever you are, wherever you've been, keep on, keep it on. Fight the good fight. Never die by your hands. And remember your life is valued, it is worthy and it matters. And if nobody else says today, I love you and I want you to stay.
Kevin Hines:
Margaret and I love sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. For more content and inspiration, go to KevinHinesStory.com or visit us on all social media at KevinHinesStory or on youtube.com./KevinHines.
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