EP 16 | SURVIVING TRAUMAS: ASHLEY HUNT
Episode Summary
What do you do when you lose yourself?
In this touching episode of HINESIGHTS Podcast, we feature Ashely Hunt. After her mother passed away from an overdose and was assaulted by an acquaintance, she lost herself. Through all this trauma she saw a silver lining: she had a clean slate from where to start. Since then she started working on herself, going through college, and starting her own business called Xfinity Strenght and Panacea Wellness. She also shares her thoughts on sexual assault and the changes needed right now. Ashley reflects on her routines, coping mechanisms, and much more.
Her story is truly amazing and you don’t want to miss it. Tune in!
About the Guest - Ashley Hunt
Ashley has 10+ years of education and experience in the wellness field, specializing in chronic musculoskeletal pain. Her degree is in Kinesiology with an emphasis in Neuromuscular Science, Certified Corrective Exercise and Orthopedic Specialist, and certified in FMS (functional movement screening).
Ashley began her career at West Portal Physical Therapy and developed their wellness program for post-rehab patients. She studied and worked under UCSF as lab assistant for the Orthopedic Surgical Research Department. She and Justine founded Nfinite Strength in 2016. Ashley is head of the corporate wellness programs and offerings, and is the program creator for Pancea (Nfinite Strength's wellness platform). Ashley's passion for well-being is to connect the dots between mental, emotional, and physical health issues and find the root cause of chronic pain and illness. Ashley is also an advocate for victims of sexual violence and abuse and has spoken at several universities, fundraisers, events. She has co-authored 2 books of wellness about overcoming trauma and wellness.
Key Take-Aways
Addiction is a disease that if not treated can lead to an overdose.
Building a strong support system is important to deal with trauma and grief.
Start with baby steps to improve your routine: three meals a day, enough water, a little bit of exercise.
Saying “I believe you” help the victims from the very start.
Find or create your routine to be mentally and physically stable.
It can take a little time to get a counselor or therapist that can work with you, which is perfect for you.
You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.
Resources
Connect with Ashley on Linkedin.
Hinesights Podcast Ep16_Ashley Hunt: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix
Hinesights Podcast Ep16_Ashley Hunt: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Kevin Hines:
My name is Kevin Hines. I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. I believe that I had to die, but I lived. Today, I travel the world with my lovely wife, Margaret, sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. Now, we help people be here tomorrow. Welcome to the HINESIGHTS Podcast.
Kevin Hines:
Ashley Hunt experienced multiple traumas before the age of 20, including the loss of her brother in high school, verbal abuse, and sexual assault. Since graduating with a degree in neuromuscular kinesiology, Ashley and her business partner Justine Luong, have been passionate and mission-driven to help people heal. In addition to Ashley's research and work in well-being, she has worked with and spoken to numerous companies to improve workplace wellness, hosted fundraisers, and co-authored two books with me that will be coming out soon. Her passion in sharing her story is to help spread the message of healing. She believes in the power of storytelling and being able to connect to one another and how it positively impacts the vulnerability and hope. She hopes to use her story of turning her pain into purpose to inspire others to do the very same. Let me just say this, Ashley, you don't hope to do that, you've already done that in numerous times. It's incalculable the amount of people you've reached with your story and your, and your kind tone and your message of hope. So we're very excited to have you on the live feed.
Ashley Hunt:
Thank you. Such a nice introduction.
Kevin Hines:
Well, and I've got my, I've got my San Francisco mug because I know you're in San Francisco. And my turmeric tea, because it's not inflammatory. So I thought of you there.
Ashley Hunt:
Perfect.
Kevin Hines:
There we go.
Ashley Hunt:
I love it.
Kevin Hines:
Ash, let's just get right into it.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah.
Kevin Hines:
Can you tell us a little about the traumas you experience and the impact it had on you and what you built? And by the way, FYI, look at the shirt I'm wearing.
Ashley Hunt:
I love ..., ... that's the originals too.
Kevin Hines:
That's the original. Totally.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah!
Kevin Hines:
Well, yeah. Break it down. Tell us your story till the traumas you've experienced and how you overcame or still overcoming, and how you learn to help yourself, and how you're helping others.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah. So kind of to circle back to the things you're saying about multiple traumas before 20. And so they impacted different parts of me because the first one was losing my mom, so it was losing someone unexpectedly and very out of my control. And then the other part of it was my sexual assaults in college, and that happened two years after. And so that was kind of more about the trauma of losing yourself and what kind of impact, the impact that it had on me for that. So to kind of start, my mom, when she passed away when I was 17 from an accidental overdose. She had suffered with addiction most of my life, and we think that we found out later on that there was probably some personality disorders that were not diagnosed throughout her life and even throughout my life, until after the point. And so she was, you know, she did a lot of rehab throughout our lives and she was in and out of rehab and it just never got better. It's a disease and it was a disease on top of another disease. And so it was very much a ripple effect in that way for her. And it was a quick slope, when she's down to high school. And so I was a senior, I was 17, I was three months, oh, sorry, two months away from graduating and we got the news that she had passed away. So going into college, it was, you know, there's obviously very normal things that you go through when you go into college. It's a different chapter, you're learning about yourself, you're on your own for the first time, I moved to a new city, but all of that was on top of also mourning my mom and such a significant person in my life. And so for me, it was kind of trying to quickly learn how to grow up overnight and then also how to kind of rely on new people, because all of my support system was in Southern California, my family and my friends, and when I moved to San Francisco, I was living with roommates, luckily, that went to my high school, but I wasn't really good friends with them yet, I barely knew them. And I'm coming in with this huge trauma, this huge loss, and all of us trying to figure out this new chapter of our life. And so I feel very lucky that I was able to live with the people that I did because they really kind of opened me up. They created a really safe place for me to be able to talk about the things I was going through. They really made it this open territory where any time I was going through something and I was having a hard time, we could go there together. So I never felt alone in that. And I think that's just such a big part of it. I know we're going to get into that, but that community was so vital for me to kind of not necessarily recover at that point, but just get through it and being able to be healthy enough to be able to go to college and do my studies and focus on the things that I was supposed to be focusing on, not also trying to recover from this. And so kind of fast-forwarding to my second year, I had built those relationships, and thank God I did, because out of nowhere I was assaulted by a college acquaintance that was in our group of friends, and I had known him for a little bit. And after that happened, the trauma was really kind of based around me losing myself. So I had lost such a significant person two years ago and then losing yourself very shortly after that. It's kind of a blur that first year, but it was definitely, it was like something that, it's really hard to explain. And I know that there's a lot of people even maybe on here that have experienced that and know what that's like. But when something like that happens to you and it's a trauma that's outside of you, that's also outside of your control, but it also takes away that identity that you had before, you're really starting from zero. And there was just so much I would almost say like rehabilitation that I had to do to myself, you know, kind of getting to know who I was again, getting reconnected to my body, getting myself back to a mentally healthy place because especially during that time, it wasn't just that you don't recognize who you are, it's that you're so lost in this fog of what happened and trying to pick up those pieces, but I hadn't stopped college, I didn't drop out. And so I was still going to school, I was still working my jobs, but I was dealing with PTSD. And so you're going kind of out and about I, my attacker didn't, there was no time there was not even a warning, like he didn't get anything for it. The case was dropped pretty quickly, unfortunately, that's not unique in this problem. And so I would see him walking by me on campus and this was like, ... this happened. Yeah, and I would see him with friends I'd seen with other girls, and there was multiple times that I'd be on the same corner as him waiting for the stoplight to go. So having to go through that, talk yourself through serious PTSD symptoms where you lose, I mean, it's like a panic attack times 10. And I know that again, many people that are on here, they've also experienced those so they know what it's like.
Kevin Hines:
Yeah.
Ashley Hunt:
But I have to say, going through both of those traumas so quickly, back to back, you know, I was very lucky to have the resources that I did. I was able to go to counseling. I was in counseling twice a week. But, you know, I kind of look back at that time of like, what was that pivotal point for me that got me from kind of surviving to like getting beyond that and almost, you know, not thriving yet by any means, but just getting to a place where I was actually enjoying school again. I was enjoying being around people. I was feeling more open and I really think that it was when I started to kind of go into my self-care routine and it really started very baby steps. I mean, it was like, like, let's just try to eat three meals a day today, let's just start there. Let's make sure I'm drinking enough water today. Let's go on to walk. Like, don't even fully exercise, but let's just go for a walk today. Let's spend more time with my roommate or my friends. And so starting with those small baby steps was so big for me and to get me back to a place where I really was reconnecting and I was getting to a place where I kind of could recognize myself again and it was different. I was definitely a different person, but I could feel who I was deep down again, and I think that was kind of the start of everything that's happened since then. But yeah, if you have, if you want to go a little deeper into experiencing trauma, I think the one thing that I can say for anybody that's listening to this, that's gone through anything or even anything with mental health, before I went through those incidences, I had no idea what it was like to feel the way that so many people feel. You know, not just with PTSD, but where you can't control the things that your head, your mind is telling you. Where you can't get out of bed sometimes, where you can't see the positive. And there was a time that I just, I didn't see the end of the tunnel. I just kept thinking that I was just living in this dark and I was just like, kind of existing in this body that I had no relationship to. And to go through that experience, my empathy for people that are still there, that are still experiencing that, is, there's just no, I mean, there's no limitation to it because when you've gone through it yourself, you really understand what it's like and the stigma that was attached to it, especially after my assault. This was before MeToo. And so people were not really talking about sexual assault the way that they are now. And it's still not at all where it needs to be. But there wasn't a movement yet. So when I went through that, it was a very hushed and quieted topic, and it wasn't something that people were just willing to talk about, and they were more educated then, and it was very stigmatized and it was something that you kind of did feel like you were in it alone. And even though there's so many people that have gone through this and there's so many people that have battled multiple types of trauma, it's still one of those things that when you're going through and you also feel alone, it's a recipe for disaster. And so that's been a big part of everything that's come after, our mission's that we have in our company and the work that we do with you. But to kind of be that hope and to really like start breaking down those stigmas and showing people that this is very common, there's a lot of people that experience very similar things, but there's just no reason for us to feel alone in it. And there's also we really need to change the way that we have these conversations and also resources to it.
Kevin Hines:
Ashley, that's amazing. It's amazing that you went through such a harrowing time and came out to help other people. I want to ask you. There may very well be some sexual assault victims tuning in, and there, they may very well be still struggling and want to find ways to heal. Do you have any advice for them given what you went through, how to move forward? Maybe not on, but move forward. How would someone do that?
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah. My number one thing is to find someone or find an organization that you feel comfortable speaking out to in whatever way that is. And again, baby steps are huge. But nobody, especially anyone that's on here that has gone through this. Nobody deserves to live with the silence attached to the thing that you went through. This silence is suffocating, and it definitely kind of eats you from the inside out. And so if you can find a community, find a group, find an organization, there are so many amazing nonprofits out there that are waiting for you to come to them. And so I will definitely send all the references and information to Kevin after, to you after her so that you can have that so you can share those resources. But there are so many groups that are waiting for people to come in and to speak up and to talk about what they've been through so that you're not sharing this burden alone because you don't deserve to.
Kevin Hines:
All right. Well, I want to know about my shirt. Tell us about Nfinite Strength, its founding and what brought you to create it with Justine and what it means to you.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah. So Nfinite actually originally started as kind of a retail awareness brand that to spread the awareness for sexual violence and victims of and to raise proceeds for nonprofits, we're partnered with Bay Moore Bay Area Women Against Rape, a small nonprofit in the Bay Area, but we originally started with that and we always had it also kind of around health initiatives because we were always connected in that Justine and I both have our degrees in neuromuscular kinesiology, so we've always been big on chronic pain, wellness, movement, movement therapy, and so when we were doing all these events, we started kind of getting into the corporate wellness space also to branch out in our services, our resources to go on and be able to do even more with our awareness side. And then since then, we've kind of evolved a lot from it. So now we do a lot with corporate wellness, we do programs in mental, emotional and physical health. The physical health component is very much on our specialty, which is the chronic pain side, muscle-skeletal side. So neck, lower back, shoulder, all the, all the ones that we get pretty often just from our daily lives. But for us, it was kind of a big it almost felt like we were doing different things a lot of the time in our company, ... Pancea, which is our platform that we built last year, that kind of scaled everything that we were doing so that we can bring these programs out to more people, not only the companies but also individuals, but can't see it kind of blends everything together. But what makes me excited about it is it's resources that actually also help people heal. So it was we want to keep continue to spread awareness and do all the things that we're doing, but my biggest thing that I always said and it was my long term goal was I wanted to be able to also have resources that get survivors past that point of just kind of acknowledging it, getting to that point of reaching out, having a community. But then also, how do you heal and how do you move forward in your life. And so Pancea is kind of starting to build that process for us.
Kevin Hines:
That's amazing. Where do they find you on Instagram? It's Pancea.Wellness, right?
Ashley Hunt:
Yes. Yeah.
Kevin Hines:
We've got to get everybody here on the feed over there, Pancea.Wellness, P A N C E A dot Wellness, make sure you follow that feed. And how do they, how do they actually use Pancea to better their physical health? And before you answer that, Ashley, can you tell us what the term Pancea means?
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah. So Pancea kind of comes from an ironic spin-off of Pancea. Panacea was the Greek goddess of the cure-all. And when we were thinking about the names for this, actually my fiance, Matt and I, we were driving back from Tahoe and we were thinking of all these things. And I love that idea of using Greek goddesses or gods. And for Pancea, when it comes to chronic pain and trauma, that ironic side to it that we like to tell is Pancea is kind of a spin-up there is no one cure, there's no one thing that you can do, it's multiple things. It's many things into one. But just being able to be the person or the group of people that come forward and say, we have all of these resources, we have all these programs. And together with all this, with this structure of these programs, you will begin to heal. And so that's kind of the background of the meaning.
Kevin Hines:
That's fantastic. And what coat of mind can they input and where can they put it to start their Pancea journey?
Ashley Hunt:
So we will definitely give you guys the link so that Kevin also can post it. But it's Pancea, P A N C E A . AI. And on there, it's a very quick signup link when you sign up for it. You can use the code Hines, so capitalize H, I N E S, and then with that code, you can get access to a year program from there, and it's a personalized corrective for chronic pain relief, but also trauma recovery.
Kevin Hines:
Fantastic. And just we repeat that one more time slowly, just ....
Ashley Hunt:
For that, Pancea? Ok, so to sign up, we're going to have this in the link as well. But it's Pancea, P A N C E A. A I and then for the code, it's Hines capitalized H and then under case i n e s, and you can be able to get a year access to a personalized chronic pain relief and trauma recovery program.
Kevin Hines:
That is amazing, generous and phenomenal. And people, when you go in there, make sure you type in that code capital H, lowercase i n e s, it's going to benefit you in a great way, if you have chronic pain of any kind, if you've been through trauma, this is a way for you to augment your destiny, change the way you see it and change the way you view yourself and see from a different perspective that brings you overall health and wellness because we all need a bit of that. So, Ash, who is the typical customer for Pancea that you envision, who can benefit from Pancea, and how? We've been over a little bit, but in your words.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah, yeah. I think for us, we kind of wanted to be able to reach the people that aren't being reached. So for us, we want it to really have a platform that was for people that especially they've experienced trauma, they're dealing with some kind of chronic aching pain that's not going away, it also kind of makes them timid to go back to activities, things that maybe they used to do, but they're not doing anymore because they're afraid that it's going to flare up. I also saw somewhere in this feed, someone saw us come to their school and give a speech thing. Hi!
Kevin Hines:
Yes, they saw us give a speech thing because that's what it's called the speech thing?
Ashley Hunt:
Yes, I know.
Kevin Hines:
Why not? Good to see you. That's awesome. Glad you came back and joined the program! Ash, this is kind of an important question, I think, for the forward movement of sexual assault prevention, what changes in legislation would you like to see in the next 5 to 10 years with regard to the anti-sexual assault laws that exist today?
Ashley Hunt:
Oh gosh.
Kevin Hines:
It's a mouthful, but what do you.
Ashley Hunt:
There needs to be a lot of change!
Kevin Hines:
I know, well break it down.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah, I think the number one thing is there should be consequences and there should be some, there needs to be more conviction rates on this. It's not, it's really unfortunate that 90 percent of perpetrators and rapists go without any time in jail and without any warning. So that's number one. There needs to be, victims need to be believed, and more victims need to believed. We need to be able, the first thing to help someone that has been affected by this is literally by saying, I believe you. And so if we don't do that with the people that we think protect us like police officers, investigators, court systems, then how are these people, how are victims and survivors supposed to be able to go through their life and recover from that, especially with trust, which is such a big part of this. So conviction rates, I think that the way that the process for these investigations really needs to change. And I could go on and on about my case and what that was like. It's retraumatizing, one hundred percent, and the way that they ask these questions, they don't help make the case actually successful. They don't help with being able to get the truth because everything that, the way that they were, these questions, it triggers the victim. And it doesn't allow you to be able to say the story because you're going through a PTSD situation and symptoms of and there's no counselors, there's no mental health advocates that are actually helping you in those questioning sessions. And so there's a lot that needs to go on with not only protecting victims, but also being able to support them so that we can actually move forward and get some things changed with our laws. I think another big one is when it comes to prevention, I hope in my lifetime, that we do a little less of trying to prevent, and saying for girls to not get assulted and all the ways that you cannot get assaulted and really focus on kind of the rehabilitation that needs to be done for people of trauma that then traumatize others, you know, a lot of these violent acts are learned. And so we really need to do a lot of work when it comes to especially child or children trauma. And how do we get people that have experienced those things, making sure that they're recovering, that they're recovering healthy and that they hopefully do not repeat these crimes in the future and down the road.
Kevin Hines:
You know, Ashley, that's so important and it just goes to show how empathetic you are as an individual who's been through this to want nothing more than the people who are, who've gone through it as children, child abuse, to then become the perpetrators as they get older, because if we were able to reach them at their time of pain, get them out of those situations, get them to healing, then this cycle of violence wouldn't continue.
Ashley Hunt:
Absolutely.
Kevin Hines:
Wow. Just an amazing point you're making it, really, really, really appreciate it. So on that note, what changes would you like to see in our culture of trauma and the way we look at trauma and the way we treat trauma survivors? You mentioned a little bit there, but if you go into more detail like, like, let me, let me make it more simple, how would you, push your story aside for just a moment? How would you treat a trauma survivor knowing what you've gone through?
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah, I think again, kind of, like the big emphasis for me with the culture of trauma is breaking the stigma around it and believing victims and not, and I, you know, this is a tricky one because I understand it depends on where you're at in your recovery, for sure. But for me, at this point in my recovery, I think, you know, it has to go on with a like believing them. But also it means that there's needs to be a lot more about support and how you actually help people recover from it. I think that a lot of people, when it comes to the whole, not believing me or they didn't believe me, I think that comes from a lot of uncomfortability. People are just uncomfortable with it, they're not educated in it, they don't know how to talk to you about that. And I hope when it comes to the culture of trauma, if you have someone in your life that has been through something and you don't know how to support them, that you reach out and get those resources and you learn more about the topic instead of pushing it down or silencing it because it's bad for both of you. And so I think, you know, there's a lot of education that I hope happens with trauma in general, people that are with someone or love someone that has been affected by a trauma and then also people that have been traumatized and a lot of the support and resources that need to happen from that.
Kevin Hines:
So what I'm hearing is active listening, caring compassion, total empathy without judgment and recognizing that if they say that they've been traumatized, acknowledging that, accepting that and not invalidating their pain or struggles or feelings.
Ashley Hunt:
Absolutely.
Kevin Hines:
So important.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah.
Kevin Hines:
Ash, let's switch gears a little bit here. I want to kind of know, where do you see yourself and Pancea in the next five years?
Ashley Hunt:
I see myself.
Kevin Hines:
Besides married to Matt Rennolds.
Ashley Hunt:
Yes.
Kevin Hines:
I mean that, Matt. Sorry, Matt. ...
Ashley Hunt:
Yes. Yes, yes, we will be married. But now I see myself doing what we're doing now. But our biggest goal is to kind of expand our incredible community of experts. So getting even more into the mental health space, trauma, stress management and also chronic pain and illness. So it just kind of expanding on all the programs that we're doing, but our biggest goal in the next five years is really getting more and more into the research and trying to get everything that we're doing to get closer to like the root cause of some of these issues that we see and what we're helping with and being able to really help with the recovery side and getting past this and so that you can go on and do all the amazing things you want to do.
Kevin Hines:
That's fantastic. I really hope that there's a note here.
Ashley Hunt:
I was, you know...
Kevin Hines:
In scenes that just sparked something in me. And seeing that we've spoken together a couple of times and it would be fantastic once this COVID-19, coronavirus pandemic is over, and hopefully soon, we get to get out there and be with communities and talk to communities and share our stories more. And I really, I really, genuinely hope that your story gets shared a lot more and you're able to reach a lot more people on a massive scale. I think that's entirely possible and plausible, most likely with a little bit of hard work on all of our ends. That would be phenomenal.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah.
Kevin Hines:
But now, now we take a shift here and I want to get into some kind of things about your, we've talked about trauma, we've talked about recovery, we've talked about the things you need to do to change the system, on a personal level, Ashley, I'm going to break down some routine questions for you. What is the first thing Ashley Hunt does in the morning?
Ashley Hunt:
Oh my gosh. First thing is, I drink a cup of coffee. I'm a big coffee drinker, but I would say my big thing in the morning is starting slow. So I, a lot of the work that I do is very much centered around other people. And so especially with chronic pain or trauma, you really have to be really present in those conversations and working with people that have experienced those things. And so for me, the mornings are really important to start with me, to prioritize myself. And so I take a long morning. I always wake up an hour before I actually need to get going just to kind of have quiet time, do what I want to do, maybe that's exercising, doing a little workout, but getting, kind of, starting with me is big to set the day, to set the tone of my personal wellness is really important to make sure that then I can also help other people.
Kevin Hines:
Awesome. Awesome. What's the last thing you do before sleepy time?
Ashley Hunt:
I say I love you to Matt, my fiance that I love, and I feel very grateful for. But I also say a prayer every night, so I kind of go over some of the things that I'm going through, I'm working on, I'm working towards, and I always do that. It helps with kind of instilling my hope in myself, and it gives me a little greater purpose.
Kevin Hines:
There we go. And he's Mattie Mattie Rood on Instagram, right?
Ashley Hunt:
Yes or yes, Mattie. I had to think about that for a second.
Kevin Hines:
There we go. What is your? Can you break down some of or the entirety of your wellness routine and regimen? Because I know you have very specific things you do. You don't have to tell them all, but maybe pick a handful or a few that you really want people to know about that keep you going every day.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah. So when, in the book that we wrote, I co-authored with you, Art of Wellness., the thing was, it was interesting when I was writing that chapter because I realized that for me, wellness is like almost very broad and I categorized it into evolve. So things that I do in my wellness that help me evolve as a person and kind of inside and out. And then there are things that I do for maintenance. So maintenance I kind of think of as my exercising, what I eat, trying to eat healthy, supplements that I use and like, for example, like you were saying turmeric, that's big for me. So anything with anti-inflammatories, I do a lot of nervous system kind of regulation work for me, helps a lot with especially trauma so, that I teach them breathing techniques is really big, I do those daily, and so that's all kind of my maintenance side. But I think for the when I put in the chapter evolve, it was a little bit bigger of like even community, hope. Like, where do you find your hope and where do you put your hope in, travel or experiences? So things in nature is good for my wellness. So there's a lot of different things that I do, but I think if I were to talk about a strict daily routine or weekly routine, you know, nature is a big part for my week. So I have to get out of nature at least once or twice. So that usually happens on the weekend and that's hiking or getting out, but it always recenters me. And then for my daily, it's really about trying to, you know, I'm pretty big on moderation and making sure that you're living a, an overall modified routine where it's not too strict where you can't maintain. But I do eat overall healthy. I try to limit my sugars. It just raises my anxiety levels. So I know that there's a lot of things that don't work for me that I try to cut out and try to stick to and then exercise movement is so important for my mental health. If I am not moving, I can feel it, so I definitely try to use that as a resource.
Kevin Hines:
That's fantastic, Ash, so many of those things you said are able to better balance all of us, not just you, of course. The meditation, the breathing exercises, the extra, the physical exercises you're physically capable, all of those things can help all of us stabilize balance and get to a better place mentally, physically and emotionally, which is crucial. So thank you for that. Did you find in your finding yourself after the trauma you experienced, did you find any particular therapies that, that gave you hope and change? And these don't have to be traditional therapies if you don't want them to be, but like what therapies? What methods of hope helped you heal?
Ashley Hunt:
I started up boxing so that, there's a lot, there's a lot, in counseling I can go into after this, but the boxing to me really brought my power back. It brought my self-control back. It brought this sense of safety back. And so there was something that, because it lit my fire. So boxing was huge and it was not conventional, it wasn't, you know, nobody really told me to do that. I just, I had already liked it before that happened and getting back into it with someone I trusted and I knew I could open up to and we could work through those things together is, was pivotal for my recovery. And so that was a big one. But the other ones I would say is definitely my community was big, so I was very lucky to have people in my life that would listen, that believes me, that works through those first few years of the trauma that was so acute, that they were able to be patient with me, they never got bored of hearing the same things that I needed to say, there was no judgment, there was always empathy and then counseling, you know, counseling, I will say, you really have to find the person that is right for you. And sometimes it takes a few, and I know that you know that. And so in the beginning, I didn't find the ones that I connected to the best. But when I found the counselor that was right for me, she changed the game. She really tried to connect my traumas together and was able to help me move forward from not only my attack, but also losing my mom.
Kevin Hines:
Wow. So many good points of reference for people in pain right now who could find hope and light through your story. That's fantastic. All right, Ash, we've come to the point in the interview where I'm going to, I'm going to do some one word associations with you, OK?
Ashley Hunt:
Oh god.
Kevin Hines:
No, it's all right, so prepare yourself quick fire, one word association. I'm going to say that word, what's the first thing that pops in your mind?
Ashley Hunt:
Great.
Kevin Hines:
Treatment.
Ashley Hunt:
Recovery.
Kevin Hines:
Recovery.
Ashley Hunt:
Oh, healing.
Kevin Hines:
There you go. Support.
Ashley Hunt:
Family.
Kevin Hines:
Nice! Hope.
Ashley Hunt:
Light.
Kevin Hines:
Love.
Ashley Hunt:
Community.
Kevin Hines:
Self-care.
Ashley Hunt:
Love.
Kevin Hines:
There it is. There it is. All very positive, right to the point. Good stuff. Ash, what do you believe is your greatest achievement thus far? Or you think you've already had it?
Ashley Hunt:
Oh, it's a tough one! I would say probably our fundraiser. Our fundraiser, but I'm going to tie it into a speaking engagement that I gave at my school because that was probably the scariest one, because it was, they didn't even know this, but where they had me speak was in the Quad, that was where I met my attacker.
Ashley Hunt:
Oh, so I spoke six years later, of, like at the point at the place that I met him. And so it was one of them, it gives me chills. But I would say that probably was it. It was actually a very small speaking engagement. It wasn't about the numbers it, but the people that I met after that, the connections that I met, the people that came up to me after and shared their stories. Being back in the place. But being on the other side where I didn't feel like I was a victim, I felt like I was a survivor speaking out. That is such a moment that I just will never forget. So probably that.
Kevin Hines:
You are a huge advocate for women empowerment, I think. I think and that's not just women, but people in general who've been through this kind of suffering. You've really changed some lives, and that's it's awe-inspiring. I got to tell you. Ok, my next question, if you were to go on into the afterlife and come back as any person or thing, what or who would it be?
Ashley Hunt:
Oh, I honestly, my fiance would laugh at this, but I would hope that I came back as a warrior, like an actual warrior.
Kevin Hines:
Yes!
Ashley Hunt:
I yes, because I'm not one physically now. I think I try to do it in different ways, like the things that we do today. But the biggest thing is I just I'm a protector at heart like, I want to be able to protect the people that can't protect themselves, I want to be able to speak for the people that can't speak for themselves, and so I honestly would probably be a warrior, I would fight for the people that can't fight for themselves.
Kevin Hines:
I got to tell you, I think you're doing that right now.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah!
Kevin Hines:
That's a.
Ashley Hunt:
In a different way, but yeah!
Kevin Hines:
Yeah, that's awesome. Now, feel free to not answer this one, but if you want to, you can. If you could change one thing about yourself, if you could, what would it be?
Ashley Hunt:
I overthink everything. Yeah. So I would say that because it's very tiring.
Kevin Hines:
Yeah, yeah. There it is. Perfect. Leave it at that. Living or passed on, who would you most love to have dinner with?
Ashley Hunt:
I don't know if I could choose one. But the first people that come to mind is Oprah, for sure, because she's my idol. I love her. Obama, either Michelle or Barack. And then probably like Nelson, Nelson Mandela.
Kevin Hines:
Nice.
Ashley Hunt:
For like the top ones that come to my head.
Kevin Hines:
There you go.
Ashley Hunt:
Yeah, yeah.
Kevin Hines:
What is your daily motto? What do you wake up thinking every day or what? What are you? Do you have a motto of your life?
Ashley Hunt:
Yes, I have two. The first one that comes up every day is you can't control what happens to you, but you can't control your response. So I live by that. I provide that for my whole life. And then the other one, I think, is also really important for anyone that's watching that has ever felt limited or that they do something because they didn't have resources or whatever it is. If you don't have the resources, be resourceful. We live by that, Justin and I, it's, it's how we've been able to do everything that we have, there's no limitations. So you just got to be resourceful.
Kevin Hines:
If you don't have resources, be resourceful as and make your own way. That's fantastic. I love that. And when were you the happiest or is that just right now?
Ashley Hunt:
Right now!
Kevin Hines:
Yes.
Ashley Hunt:
Happiest, like time frame or moment?
Kevin Hines:
How about both?
Ashley Hunt:
Ooh, OK. Moment for sure getting engaged. It has been a long life road to get to Matt. And so I'm just so happy that our roads connected when they did, and that that moment is just pure bliss. So that, that's that one. And then I think happiest time of my life. You know, I think it's been a while, I think it's been since we started Nfinite, and it wasn't about the company, it wasn't about starting it. Although, Justine, I know you're on here and I love the company, but it's not about that. But for me, it was, I was, I was very weighted down by my silence, I was very suffocated by it. And so it felt like I was like it held me down a lot. And by bringing up Nfinite and what it meant and constantly being able to say Nfinite Strength every day has really just changed my happiness level. And I love what I do and I love the people we get to work with. I love you, I love Margaret, Margaret, so I feel like it's kind of, it's about the purpose side for sure. Like I get to live my purpose, but it's absolutely breaking those chains was such a big part for the rest of my life. I mean, I am very grateful for that.
Kevin Hines:
I think that's a perfect way to wrap up this conversation. Margaret and I love you too. You are amazing. Keep doing the work you do. Tell BatMatt we said hello.
Ashley Hunt:
I will
Kevin Hines:
Wish you well, So grateful to be your friend. So glad to be a part of your life. Ladies and gentlemen, whatever you're going through, whatever you've been through, fight the pain, in spite of the pain to thrive someday like Ash and I. You've got this on lockdown, we believe in you. And just so you know, for the folks out there who are in crisis, for the folks out there who are considering suicide and having such a hard time mentally, suicide does not have to be the answer to your problems. It is the problem, and we want you to be here tomorrow and every damn day after that. We love you. We watch this day. Ashley, do you have anything to say at the end of this piece? And just, just what's one more thing you would say to someone going through it right now?
Ashley Hunt:
Don't give up. It does get better, I promise.
Kevin Hines:
There it is. Don't give up. It does get better. She promises, so do I. Talk to you soon. Be well and be here tomorrow. Bye guys!
Ashley Hunt:
Bye.
Kevin Hines:
Bye Ash!
Kevin Hines:
Margaret and I love sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. For more content and inspiration, go to KevinHinesStory.com or visit us on all social media at KevinHinesStory or on youtube.com/KevinHines.
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