EP 43 | COVERED IN TATTOOS & TAKING CARE OF HIS MENTAL HEALTH: BEN HIGGS

Episode Summary

In this episode with the wonderful Ben Higgs, he tells us about the ripple effect.

Ben and his friends walked down the Gold Coast for 15 days meeting people and listening to their stories. But one day one of them got a phone call from someone that wanted to take his own life. He didn’t do it, because he saw Ben and his troupe on socials and listened to their message. That is what they call the ripple effect. For it to happen, it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it can be something small and simple. 

This episode has several stories around ripple effects in people, tune in and see if you can create your own ripple effect! 

About the Guest - Ben Higgs

Using over 30 years of experience living with a mental illness, Ben isn’t your average everyday presenter delivering a boring presentation. The real, raw, honest approach to life, what it can throw at us, what we can be presented with, and more importantly how we face it. Ben's focus is on educating and teaching the everyday practical tools we can use so that people no longer have to live in silence with mental illness or poor mental health.

Ben engages with communities coming together for a common cause creating events such as Ratfest, PPP4SPA, Walk it Off, and Hitting The Road. Having worked with organizations such as Suicide Prevention Australia and Black Dog Institute, In 2016 Ben was invited to the United States National conference on behavioral health and more recently in 2019 a guest speaker at the International Bi-Polar Foundation international conference.


Key Take-Aways

  • Ripple effects can save lives. 

  • When other people tune in and listen to your inspirational message, they can decide not to take their own life. 

  • One little thing can change someone’s life. 

  • To change the world, you have to change yourself. 

  • It’s not about the people, it’s about their stories. 

  • You live with mental illnesses just as you live with any other disease.

  • Changing the word “battle” or “fight” can change the whole discourse around mental health. 

Resources

Hinesights Podcast_EP 43_Ben Higgs: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Hinesights Podcast_EP 43_Ben Higgs: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Kevin Hines:
My name is Kevin Hines. I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. I believe that I had to die, but I lived. Today, I travel the world with my lovely wife, Margaret, sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. Now, we help people be here tomorrow. Welcome to the HINESIGHTS podcast.

Kevin Hines:
You've got a story that you wanted to tell me that we didn't get a chance to talk about the other day, and I think it's really important that you kind of break it down.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah. You know, it's, it's amazing. You know, when we talk about the ripple effect and stuff and you know, you don't really notice these things until it's sort of put into your head, and that's what it is. You know, you know, last year in October, myself and a couple of friends we walked from the Gold Coast down in Sydney.

Kevin Hines:
How far is that?

Ben Higgs:
That's nine hundred and sixteen kilometers. So that's 60 kilometers a day, which is about 37 miles a day for 15 days, and that was about 10 to 12 hours a day walking, you know, so it's, it's a heavy slog. You know, it's, it's heavy going, but you know, it was, it was doable. What we're doing now, it's getting out and meeting people and, you know, and just hearing people's stories and everything like that. And it made, made things so easy for us because we'd get to meet these amazing people, you know? And then one day we're about halfway through and one of the guys got a phone call, was to the Maritime Union of Australia that he's a member of it. And they said one of, the one of their members had rung up and said, look, guys, I just want to let you know, can you pass on a message? I've been following you guys on social media and said he was at home, it cleared everything he had to clear, done everything he'd had to done, and he'd made his plans and he was sticking to it and he was going to end his life. And he said he jumped on social media and actually saw us, what we're doing, looked in on a bit more and heard our message and everything and decided to not, he wasn't going to do it. He'd gone and got himself help, and he was ringing up and just saying, look, I want to let the guys know, that's work. You know, what they're doing is working for us. We could, we could have hung our shoes up then.

Kevin Hines:
You could've just, you could've walked home, that's it.

Ben Higgs:
And that's that ripple going out. What we were doing one thing little, but affected that person. He's going to go home and tell these other people, you know, he'll sit there and tell people why, what had changed his life. And hopefully they, they change that and that change and hopefully that happened along the way.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah, absolutely.

Ben Higgs:
And it was magic, it was magic hearing, and it made all the hard work, you know, it's two years playing in that role and a lot of hard work, a lot of us leaving our families for that time and stuff. And it just made every little step worth it,

Kevin Hines:
It made it worth it, and it made you realize how your ripple has an impact. Now, now I'm guessing that young man had a family.

Ben Higgs:
Oh yeah, I don't know.

Kevin Hines:
Well, who knows? But let's say this he's probably got people that care for.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah, definitely.

Kevin Hines:
People that love him that he wasn't aware of.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
And he chose, he chose to stay after hearing a message of hope and light.

Ben Higgs:
That's it.

Kevin Hines:
And he said, I can do this.

Ben Higgs:
That's it. And it doesn't stop. That one little thing that, it doesn't have to be this grand gesture, it can be one little thing, just sparks up bit of hope in someone and changes their life. No, it doesn't, you don't have to affect someone in a big way, it can be a small way, but it could, it could change their life in a big way, you know?

Kevin Hines:
It's a catalyst to change.

Ben Higgs:
That's it.

Kevin Hines:
It's a catalyst. If we can all be that catalyst for one person, two people, 10 people, 20 people, one hundred people, a thousands of people in our lifetime, if we stick to this, the ripple effect will go on forever because what you realize is you're having a ripple effect on his life. Maybe he has a kid some time down the line, that child would not have existed without him choosing life, without him recognizing from your message, I can choose life. Then the kid grows up and the kid has kids.

Ben Higgs:
He might tell that story long.

Kevin Hines:
And the kid tells that story to a young man who he grows up with in high school, who turns 16 and has suicidal thoughts. And the ripple effect just goes on.

Ben Higgs:
It's on and on.

Kevin Hines:
But just as that ripple effect goes on, so does the ripple effect of a death by suicide.

Ben Higgs:
We stopped in Grafton, a town north western New South Wales. Over the last year, we've lost 12 teenagers to suicide, in this ..., and a small community, you know, and they don't want to use the term, and it's like an epidemic up there, and they're brutal. They don't know how to, how to deal with it. And I know it's all something, like we talked at one sporting club, half the people didn't turn up because they were turning the life support off on another kid that night, it was heartbreaking being there, I'm trying to save these people, ... A guy stepped in town for a week. I can't give you the answers. You've got to go and educate yourself. What I can tell you is you've got to look at your perspective on it and never say, you know, that's, that's the main reason, well one of the main reasons why I started doing what I'm doing, you know, I lost a lot of friends over the years. I've almost, I almost wasn't CP a lot of times, you know? And it's different things and different people that affected me along the way that kept me here. And it's, two very good friends of mine that I lost that, that inspired me to, to, you know, to get my bum out of the chair and do whatever I can. You know, I heard it a long time ago, and it's something I stand by, is to change the world, you've got to change yourself, you know, and you can't change the world without changing yourself. So and that's, and that's why, you know, everyone we speak to, I think that someone has changed, changed their life. And it's what you do. It's grabbing that, grabbing that opportunity by the horns.

Kevin Hines:
Each member of Team Ripple World, especially each member of Team Ripple Australia, has had that transformative moment in their lives and whether it's one moment or 10 or 20, it's a transformative area of their lives that has led them to say, You know, this ain't about me.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
It ain't about me, it's about going out there, to the people of Australia, to the people of America, and the people around the world and saying you can stay alive and are some ideas on how you get there. Here's some ideas on how you live and you choose life every day, even in that desperate pain.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah. And I think it's perfect. It's one of the most impactful things with the crew we've been in Australia, here, is we're all so different, we all come from so many different backgrounds. And, you know, even just to see me and Joe together, you know, even me and ... Together, or me and Pat or Pat and Lauzen, you know, and Steph, everyone's so diverse. But everyone, as you said, got that one, one or two moments. And it's that, that light bulb moment where it's things are changing.

Kevin Hines:
Our stories are vastly different, yet they are the same.

Ben Higgs:
And interconnected.

Kevin Hines:
Interconnected. I think that's what gets people going about when we go and speak or when, when Sam Webb goes and speaks, is that it's not about us, it's about your story. When you look at an audience of a thousand teens who are in high school, who haven't fully developed their brains yet, and they're struggling and they don't know how to express themselves, and you tell a story of how you didn't know how to express yourselves, immediate connection. And then, and then one hundred kids come down off those bleachers to shake your hand, to say hello, and most importantly, to say thank you. But you didn't do anything except tell the truth.

Ben Higgs:
That's right. That's right.

Kevin Hines:
And when you tell your truth, what happens? Other people tell.

Ben Higgs:
You can see the truth in it as well.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
Now I can't sit in a classroom or a lecture hall or something and listen to someone rattle off stats and figures and numbers, it doesn't sink in to me. Some people want and some people might work. What I, what works for me is hearing someone's story. You know, Sam getting up and telling his story, Joe telling his story, you telling your story, that sinks in to me. You can walk away with a pamphlet, the stats, ...., and it's great, you need to get that information across, it's good to have it, but it's that story, it sets here in people's real life story. You know, it's, it's what we've done with the Treadmill Running Staff is bringing real people in, you know, and it's having communities come together and talk about it. You know, we brought, like to bring along a lot, a lot of sports stars and TV personalities and getting them to tell their story because people look up to them, you know, and especially kids looking up to sports stars, hearing these big, tough footballers and stuff, talking about times in their life when they were struggling and they were down and then they got past it and they built himself up to where they are, lets kids know that they can do it. Now, it gives them that hope.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
You know, people that they look up to, can have these times so so can they, people that they look up to, can get through those times so so can they. You know that has the impact on them, and then they'll go back to school the next day, tell their mates, well, I met so-and-so and this, this is what he was telling me, that might stay with that kid, and then he tell someone at home.

Kevin Hines:
You know, I had a message today from a foreign reporter, how can you prove that your message that hope helps heal? And I immediately thought of when I was presenting to Camp Lejeune, the United States Marine Corps base, one of the largest Marine Corps bases in America to ten thousand marines in two days. And I got up there and I'm thinking to myself, who is this helping? What am I doing? You know, those self doubts that come in, right? And this young man, lance corporal in four or five years comes up, removes his lance corporal chevron, his rank pin, places it on my lapel and says I was going to kill myself today, I wasn't going to come to your presentation yet here I stand, will you walk me to my CO, commanding officer, and help me get help? I walked him to his CO, I said to the commanding officer, look, you can choose to ignore this, you can choose to reprimand this young man, but he desperately needs your help right now and he needs to stay. And he's just told me and I referred with him that, he said he's going to die, but he is going to live and he needs your help to stay alive. And the commanding officer said, no problem, it's, it's set. And he took the young man and that young man is alive and well today. And it's not because of me, it's because the power of stories of hope have the ability to transform lives and help them, themselves choose life. It's magical.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah, it's amazing.

Kevin Hines:
And it doesn't stop with me. Every one of these advocates we have in this film or in this show, hope the ripple effect Australia or hope the ripple effect America, hope the ripple effect world, Team Ripple World, Team Ripple Australia, they are all, it's not unique, all of us who can tell our stories well, where we can speak up, speak well, and speak often, we can have that transformative effect with our words. There's studying, the science behind storytelling, and what they're finding is that when I tell you a story and you're that kid in that audience.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
You don't just hear me as I'm telling that story, you live it with me. There are, there are transmitters in your brain that go fire and off that make you feel the ability even if you've never had it in your life before, the ability to empathize. A light goes off in your brain, literally like a neuron transmitter goes off in your brain and says, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, listen, here, walk this path, put yourself in his or her shoes and they go, oh man, I can do this.

Ben Higgs:
That seems crazy to me because every major sports team in the world has someone come in and give a motivational talk. No one questions.

Kevin Hines:
No.

Ben Higgs:
No one questions that that works. Every big business in the world has people come in and have these big talks. Nobody questions it. Why would they question that a talk on hope and healing and building yourself up and having courage for yourself, why would they question that that works?

Kevin Hines:
Fear, fear. You say the word suicide and someone will die, which is a myth. It's a complete myth.

Ben Higgs:
A complete myth.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
You know, and maybe I'm just hopeful, but I see the tide turning.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
I see the tide turning, and I think it's because people are speaking up, people that, the message is getting out, you know? And hopefully, you know, I've said it a long way, and I've said it to ... of people, we're in the job of putting ourselves out of a job. I'm doing this in the hope that when my kids are my age, there's no need for this. Of course, there's a need for it now.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
And it's getting worse. But I'm hoping that the tide is turning.

Kevin Hines:
They have to. They have to turn. We can, we will, we must do this work.

Ben Higgs:
That's all.

Kevin Hines:
I was at the Zero Suicide Summit, that's partially why I'm here in Australia this time. The Zero Suicide International Declaration for Local Change and Local Action and the idea there that people can debate and babble on and battle with. Well, we're never going to reach zero, why not? What is an acceptable number?

Ben Higgs:
Zero.

Kevin Hines:
Right! That's the only one.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
So whether we get that number or whether we get it just in health care, whether we get it in certain organizations, in sports teams, at hospitals, in schools, we must strive to achieve it, or else we will never know.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah. So I look at it and for people, because people are so blinded by this and so shut out for so long, you've got to use a reference point for some people, something to compare it to. So I always say, you know, you look at, look at things like cancer and HIV and AIDS and stuff, 15-20 years ago, it wasn't talked about. It was hidden, but now it's open and it enables people to go and get help and the people to get early screening, get checks and stuff. And we've got to look at this the same way. Mental health, it's a disease. It's just like all these other things. You know, it's like diabetes. You know, people live with diabetes. You never hear someone say they battle with diabetes, try and lose that term. We've gotten rid of the word commit. You know, I want to see the word battle go on as well because it doesn't have to be a battle, not a good fight. So, you know.

Kevin Hines:
So are a lot of other things.

Ben Higgs:
That's it, that's it.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
But there's a big difference between a fight back.

Kevin Hines:
That's right.

Ben Higgs:
You know, and but it's just that term again, that term again just puts an automatic thought into someone's, into a battle or mental illness, battle depression or battle anxiety. We don't ... you know. It's, it's live with it.

Kevin Hines:
Live with it and live well with it. Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
And learn how to best live with that, learn how to manage it, you know, learn what suits you and what helps you to live with it. You know, whether it be exercise, whether it be reading, you know, it's not drinking drugs,because that only masks. You think that's helping it. You know, I've been there. I was a heavy self-medicator, but everyone's got their own thing. You know, whether it's punch in a boxing bag, you know, what if lifting weights, might be cycling, might be surfing. What do we battle mental illness? You know? What, and it's, it's that, it's that way of looking at. I don't sit here every day and say, I've battled mental illness. I live with it.

Kevin Hines:
You live with it.

Ben Higgs:
I live with it. But I know how to live with it. It's like someone with diabetes knows they've got to change their diet, their lifestyle, they might have to take a shot every day. I've got to wake up, I take a couple of pills and I change, change my lifestyle to live with it. I live with it the best I can. Just like any other disease, sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down, so on. It's no longer a battle, and that's what we've got to change. People's, people's perspective.

Kevin Hines:
Agreed. One hundred percent agreed. And I'm going to take what you just said and change my own personal language because I say battle and I'm not going to pretend I don't.

Ben Higgs:
That's, that's my own.

Kevin Hines:
No, no, no, no, no, no. That language is crucially important. You live with diabetes, you can live with depression. But I'll tell you, there are people out there dying from, dying by suicide via depression.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah, of course.

Kevin Hines:
They're dying, just they would die, like they would die from any other disease, liver, heart, lung, kidney cancer of any organ, they're dying from those diseases. That's how people are dying of suicide, they're not committing a crime, they're not, they're not committing adultery, it's not a crime. Let's take that language away from it and say, yes, we live with it, and maybe we fight it, and that's OK.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
Because we're going to get to the other side.

Ben Higgs:
That's, I got asked the question by a lady last week and it stuck with me, and it wasn't a question for me to answer, but she's, we were having a chat and she said, do people take their life by suicide because they want to die or because they want to end the pain?

Kevin Hines:
I would say because they want to end the pain.

Ben Higgs:
They want to end the pain.

Kevin Hines:
That's how I felt.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah. Let me make it crystal clear I never wanted to die, I never once wanted to die. I believed I had to because of that pain, because the voices.

Ben Higgs:
And that's that, that's that perspective thing that I try and, you know, ram into.

Ben Higgs:
Hammer home, yeah, because you know, it's, it's, look at it a different way. Ok, do you want to get rid of the pain? There's certain ways you can try, you know, and it's hard, it's not easy. You know, I've had to change my life a hell of a lot, you know? But what's, what's, what's harder? You know, what's harder for my family, my wife, and my kids?

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
You know, and that's how I had to look at it, you know, and that's how I try and show people that got a mental or physical or emotional.

Kevin Hines:
Or both.

Ben Higgs:
Or both!

Kevin Hines:
Or all of it or all of the above.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah.

Kevin Hines:
Yeah.

Ben Higgs:
Yeah. You know, I had a discussion at home the other day. You know, a few things going on, I said our problems are just as bad to us as what someone's problem part of them, I said, you can't compare, you know, someone's got, someone's major problem might be and you think, oh, well, mine's only small, comparatively. Well, if it's big to us, it speaks to us, and that's how you've got to look for it, you know, and face it like that. You can't just bow your head down and say, oh, well, it's, it's only small because that can multiply and ends up consuming you.

Kevin Hines:
It will consume you unless you address it and work with it to not just survive the pain, but thrive. Yeah. All right, brother, thanks for the time, appreciate it.

Kevin Hines:
Margaret and I love sharing stories of people who have triumphed over incredible adversity. For more content and inspiration, go to KevinHinesStory.com, or visit us on all social media at KevinHinesStory or on youtube.com/KevinHines.

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Margaret Hines